When Love Goes Wrong…Part One

When Love Goes Wrong…Part One March 4, 2010
Filed under: News — singlemothersoutreach @ 10:39 am

I Had To Say No…
a personal experience by Jinky Rodriquez


I had to say “no” when I realized I was in a wrong relationship. It is not fair to keep holding on to someone and waste each others energy and time. This person deserves happiness. I do not want to lead someone on when they deserve more.

I had to say “no” when I knew that the relationship was immoral. It can’t last. I deserve more than this. I am worth more than what he is offering. I had to walk out of his life forever because it makes a statement that I am a woman of honor. I may have fallen but I can stand up and say: I had renewal of mind, heart and spirit. Now that I have that, you’re no good for me. I have to let you go.

I had to say “no” to a verbally abusive relationship. I don’t want to end up thinking lowly of myself because of what this man says. I refuse to be used by this self-centered man who does nothing but complain and say terrible things about me and other people. He claims he helps people and when he does, it is because there is something there for him to benefit. Whatever he was after in me, I had to say “no”. I feel sick to my stomach when I don’t stand up for myself. That is how I knewthat this relationship and my decision to make a life with him was wrong. It brought me no peace and I knew I had to rectify it.

I thought helping him attain his goals would make him see how much I loved him. He knew how far would go and for that, he took me for granted. I had to put up with his mantra, “I will never change:” I thought I could persuade him to see it my way but he refused to budge. I realized that no matter how much I wanted it to work, I had to let it go—the privileges I had with him, our potential for more, our business and personal association. What’s the use of those when he treats you as less than, Jinky? I was not comfortable with him anymore. He robbed me of happiness, positive energy and peace of mind. No, I will not put up with that. I had to do the inevitable: Cut ties with him—completely.

I said “no” in these instances because “no” is “yes” : to my peace of mind. “Yes”, is respecting myself. “Yes” is for the better welfare of my child. “Yes” means trusting you have made the best decision you have ever made for yourself: Say “Yes” to choosing to be alone, yet contently happy. What’s the use of having a partner but and still being lonely? Definitely, a “NO” on my list.

Don’t make yourself mentally sick with people who are definitely not going to make you happy.
These types are not worth your time, energy, respect and definitely, your heart.

Profit with CalKids

Right On The Money: Saving Baby Stuff With California Kids Consignment
by Jinky Rodriguez

Theresa Stauffer has something to smile about: As the Organizer of the California Kids Consignment, she has contributed a lot in helping lower the cost of having and raising kids.

Being a teacher and mom, she knows the value of saving money in these times of pinching pennies. We sat down to discuss some interesting trivia about one of the anticipated events in our community.



Jinky Rodriguez (JR): So tell me how did you start having ideas about having a consignment in SCV?

Theresa Stauffer (TS): I first learned of the concept while visiting Kirk’s family in Pennsylvania around Christmas of 2007. My sister in law was getting her kids items ready for a kids consignment sale and I was enthusiastic with the idea that I could sell my own kids stuff without having to hold a yard sale or haggle with buyers. 3 days, one marketplace, everything you need for the upcoming season. I was so thrilled to bring this idea back to the West Coast that in January of 2008 we started organizing and planning. We held our 1st Consignment that May with 70 consignors and have grown since then. It was a blast and a huge success. We have ever since then offered this event twice a year. One for the Spring/Summer and another for the Fall/ Winter Sale.

JR: After doing this for the 5th time, what are the joys of setting up a consignment sale? What are the benefits to its sellers (consignors)?

TS: I have met a lot of great people along the way. A lot of moms and dads, grandparents, willing to give their extra time to volunteer with setting up the venue and the merchandising the sales floor. The benefits for volunteering is that they get to shop before the public at our private sale. They get first dibs on the goods.

The benefits for consigning are they get more value for their kids’ items than having their own garage sale. I had mine a few years back and remembered selling almost new brand name clothes and toys for nothing. The yard sale hunters would haggle me for ridiculous prices. The consignor has an opportunity to sell their items for the price they want. There is no haggling. Once the sale is over, we keep 35% of the proceeds of her sale and they keep the rest to use for whatever purpose they might have for it: Probably pay bills or buy her child more age-appropriate items.

Also selling at the consignment sale gives the seller an opportunity to donate her stuff if she decide not to take it back with her after the sale is over. We have partnered with Single Mother’s Outreach last season and we have donated 13 bags for them—items that were not collected by owners. We have provided relief for moms who might not afford these necessities. It’s all good.

JR: I myself have been a consignor before and let me tell you that the profits from such sale helps a lot for any struggling parent in these times. Tell me what are your challenges so far in having this event?

TS: We have 150 consignors so far and that’s great…But we wanted to accomodate more people to come in and sell next time around. We’ve closed our registration and a lot of people still inquire if we have a store or we accept resellers. The biggest challenge is looking for a bigger venue next time.

JR: Yeah, that would be awesome if you do because a lot of moms realize that this is a great idea of saving and spending money for their kids. Any tips for buyers and sellers out there?

TS: For the buyer, we inspect items at check in, but occasionally something may make it in that shouldn’t, like a stained item, and item that is too worn. It’s important for buyers to inspect what they plan to purchase because all sales are final. Also, it’s packed with wall to wall bargains, so space is limited and strollers will be hard to push around. If you can find a babysitter for your little ones, that is best, but if you can’t maybe you can bring a friend to help watch them while you shop. We accept credit cards and cash so be ready to spend and save at the same time.

For the seller: Always makes sure the items you sell are reasonably priced so you can have a quick sale. We have a seller whose item is incredibly beautiful but the price was so steep that other buyers just always inquire but ending up not buying it. We have a price chart in our site to see if your items are reasonably priced. This is just a guideline. Make sure that the item is also safe to use for kids. We are strict not to accept old, worn and especially, recalled items. Make sure its passed CPC guidelines.

JR: You need volunteers, right?

TS: Yes, Volunteers are still needed for various shifts. As a volunteer, they can have discounts and an opportunity to buy in our private sale. The volunteers will definitely get value for their money, for sure! —JR

California Kids Consignment is on Facebook.

Go to www. Calkidsconsignment.com for more details.

If you would like to contact Theresa Stauffer, email her at CalkidsTheresa@aol.com

Welcome!

Being a believer of counting your blessings, I adhere to do this everyday. I hope you will find the articles and the multi-media entertaining. I've always loved to write since I was 15: When my English professor, Ms. Santos would let us read the Diary of Anne Frank. I would procrastinate due to the fact, it looks like the picture of that young girl is gloomy. Not really something of a plus for me to read this auto-biography.

But lo and behold! Once I started to read the journal of this adolescent set on World War II and concentration camps, I become sucked in her world. I unite with her in spirit as she fell in love with a neighborhood boy, her daily duties helping the family out and finally, when she is starting to get sick. You can't help but feel a sense of wistful sadness as she passed away a few days short before her native country was freed of the Nazis. Her notations became our window to a historic era and ultimately, to her heart and undying spirit.

From the moment I dropped the book, more novels, interviews and a lot of articles throughout the years, I was able to learn to write with guiless skill. I feel it is a gift with a purpose: To share
through my experiences with others, nuggets of wisdom and inspiration.

I hope you will love the articles you'll be reading as such as I have enjoyed creating them. Let the mouse and tapping of the keyboards begin!